Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Episode Guide

When I click that link at the top of the page, you say, I only see episode numbers. What the fuck happens in each of these episodes, you fat monster?

Woah, there's no need for name calling, I say. Here's a brief episode guide to the MitE saga so far:

1) Bit of a Disaster - Meet Snobberson and some of the crew for the first time as their first big show goes off almost without a hitch, sort of. This episode was actually made later because the original one is simply too short and embarrassing to have out there in the world.

2) RALF - Only slightly less short and embarrassing, this episode is the debut of the Sidekick Showcase, where Snobberson tries out different co-hosts to try and mix things up. First up, a furry alien with a penchant for eating cats and a wildly inappropriate manner. Fun fact: The crew doesn't show up in this episode, because I hadn't invented them yet.

3) Labor Problems - The crew goes on strike, a trans-dimensional wizard seeking a magical tome shoots up the theater with magic, and we meet the mice. The first episode with a story (not counting the redone first episode).

4) Hamateur Night - as the theater is repaired following the magical disaster last time, Snobberson and company decamp to a local cafe and host a number of truly terrible amateurs.

5) The Storybook Plug - There's a cork in the floor and the mice pull it. What comes out? A bewildering array of fictional characters who torment Snobberson as he tries to put on a show with the "help" of the Ghost of Marlon Brando.

6) Brine is Really Just Salt Water - Pirates descend on the show, hijack it, and sail for the horizon! We meet Quimquaff, Squentes, and Tampico the Suspicious Parrot.

7) This Episode Brought to You By - The show needs money, and lots of it! Snobberson sells out to some corporate types and only rotating sidekick Moda (a short, green, wizened wise man) can possibly convince him to cast out the nefarious businesscritters.

8) Take This Show on the Road - Some French fleas infect the mice, and then the show in general, prompting a fumigation. Snobberson gets a wild hair up his rump for the Pacific Northwest, and so the show is converted into a covered wagon and taken on the Trail to Oregon, if you catch my meaning. Also, apparently the sidekick showcase is abandoned.

9) O Holy MitE - Just in time for the holidays, a phantom shitter is loose at the show. Who can it be? With the help of the Black Priest and Igor, famous ghosts are prevailed upon for assistance.

10) Non-Conform With Us -  Jerry acquires a cursed mixtape that slowly but surely turns the crew into hipster zombies, shuffling around in stylish clothes and listening to only the right music. Snobberson receives aid from Voices that Share.

11) High School Musical in the Evening - A stricken Snobberson has a flashback to performing arts high school, where the big competition is coming up and everyone has a song prepared - except a certain pompous butterball who intends to be the M.C.

12) You Know What They Say About Big Feet - Bigfoot mania sweeps the crew, as everyone hunts the mythic beast in hopes of a big payday. But what manner of simian is truly lurking in the shadows?

13) 1d20 (Book I of the Silverdusk Feyblade Marshmallow Sassafras Saga Cycle) - Travel back with us to the days of high fantasy! Snobberson is blown through a Gygaxian Singularity into a sweet kingdom full of elves and dwarves and shit, facing down a mysterious Dark Lord with the help of a psychotic barbarian and a sissy wizard. If you like Dungeons & Dragons, this is full of knowing references. If you don't, it's just confusing.

14) 2d8 (Book II of the Silverdusk Feyblade Marshmallow Sassafras Saga Cycle) - The thrilling conclusion to the previous thing.

15) Rodentcrantz and Gudenstrong are Dead - But what were the mice up to during the adventure of the Silverdusk Feyblade Marshmallow Sassafrass Saga Cycle? They were transformed into goblins and pressed into the Dark Lord's service, looking for a golden MacGuffin.

16) Dirty Politics - Remember the end of the previous administration? What exciting days! In the run-up to the election, Music in the Evening invites the candidates to debate live on stage. But the Spirit of Politics gets into everyone, including Mack, who runs for President of the Show.

17) A Haunting for the Holidays - Featuring the triumphant return of the Ghost of Marlon Brando, who, with the Ghost of Jimmy Stewart in tow, comes to Earth at Christmas to haunt Snobberson and face down his arch-rival, the Ghost of Laurence Olivier.

18) BANNED! - The secret lost episode, in which Snobberson's rich sister comes by to clean up the filthy mouths of the crew with a censor beep-producing robot.

19) Don't Call it a Comeback (Special) - After years of lying around in the gutter, Snobberson is visited by the mysterious Squentes, who prompts him to get the gang back together and restart the show.

20) Late Night Radio - Snobberson hears the siren song of conspiracy theory and becomes aware of all sorts of new shit. And sort of goes crazy.

21) Poon Forr - A strange illness befalls Jerry, who transforms from a semi-sweet teenager to a ravening sex fiend, offending Sadie. He receives some horrible advice from a certain ghost, and it's up to a stranger to explain what's going down.

22) In the Terrible Clutches of the Mole-Men! - Snobberson and company discover Confederate moles living in the basement, and a dispute ensues over who-all exactly owns that lil' ol' theater.

23) Destructive Criticism - An esteemed critic visits Music in the Evening, and his opinion is that it sux. Can Snobberson manage to put on the show while shriveling under a peal of vituperation?

24) The Auteur Theory - Snobberson's nephew Trevor comes by to make a documentary film about Music in the Evening. Snobberson has some helpful ideas. Lots and lots of them. Whether Trevor likes it or not.

25) Itza Mitzvah - Sadie begins to feel she's not Jewish enough and enters the Chattanooga Jew Chew gum-chewing competition to reconnect with her faith.

26) The Aristorats - The Mice inherit $15 million - but only if they're wily enough to keep it. The entire crew turns on each other to win the prize.

27) Cat vs. Mouse - Snobberson, tired of those damn mice, purchases a cat to rip them limb from limb. Can the mice figure a way out of their predicament? Who's throwing such wild parties when no one's looking?

28) A Crisis of Faith - Jesus Christ himself returns to Earth, right on stage at Music in the Evening! Mack has a change of heart. Rufus runs toward Paradise. The audience has pressing questions. And Jesus just wants to hella chillax.

29) Doubles, Bubbles, Moyels, and Trouble - Snobberson is doubled in a transporter accident, a homicidal moyel runs loose at the show, a bubble party is had, and trouble abounds!

30) Snobbersons and Tiaras - Snobberson wakes up in an unfamiliar basement, the captive of a deranged fan who forces him to compete in a child beauty pageant. Will he escape? Will he win Ultimate Grand Supreme?

31) Hamateur Night II - The theater is being painted, so it's off to Crazy Golov's cafe for an open-mic amateur night! What could go wrong?

That's it so far, but I have more brewing. It all comes down to when I get flashes of inspiration (which may also be bipolar episodes of mania).