Monday, September 29, 2014

Episode 34

We're closing in on the meaningless milestone of episode 35! Wonder what it will be? I've just released episode 34, "Sexy Catfight!" in which Sadie confronts an ambitious new production assistant. I continue to be pleased with my scripts, and am so fond of these characters. Ugh, I'm getting all sentimental.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Dancing on Copyrights

"Jealousy for the Devil" in episode 33 is the second direct song parody I've done lately (Singing Nixon performed a version of "After the Gold Rush" by Neil Young). I'm getting all Weird Al Yankovic up in here!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Ah, the Ghost of Marlon Brando

My favorite character to voice comes back in episode 32, Play Within a Play. And why not? It's all about acting, after all. Interested in the effects chain on Brando's dialog? What do you mean you're not? Screw you, I'm explaining it anyway!

There's a flanger, which is an effect I think adopted early on, or perhaps invented, by the Beatles. If I remember the story correctly, John was too lazy to double-track his vocals, so instead they copied the track over and then applied finger pressure to the tape as it went through the heads, slightly slowing it and letting it speed up. These days, it's automated, and you don't have to finger any tape. It creates a distinctive swishy sound that's also great on drums in psychedelic freakouts.

There's also a delay, and the little plugin I use for it dampens the high end on subsequent echoes, which is nice because a straight up digital-style delay would be, I think, distracting.

My only challenge now is not overusing our friend Marlon. But sometimes I just can't help myself.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Things are Pretty Sweet Around Here

I have, like, a dozen scripts under development as we speak. Well, I speak, you listen. Read. Fuck you.

Plus I've been cranking out songs, of varying quality, which is how it should be. Expect another MitEday within the month! Heck, within two weeks, probably.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Guest Star!

For the first time in its illustrious history, MitE has a guest star, in the person of my friend Karen Simring. She's playing Mandy, a deranged fan who kidnaps Snobberson and forces him to compete in child beauty pageants. Women be crazy, huh?

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Beam me up

Why yes, those are the official Star Trek TOS sound effects in episode 29. And no, I haven't considered the legal ramifications.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Episode 15

And holy shit, doesn't that theme song sound good?

That was the Synful Orchestra VST plugin from back in the mid-late 2000s. It had some pretty wonderful individual chamber music instrument sounds.

They're still around, supposedly. I mean, the website is still there. But are they? Seems like they're not.


Alkanon the Sage (ep. 15) ... man, sometimes I please myself. If you know what I mean.

Saturday, August 9, 2014


Hey, hooray! Only a day after releasing episode 28, A Crisis of Faith, I've completed work on another script. Now there's just the small matter of the music ... and the recording. Well, then.

Does anyone remember which episode was brought to you by Big Chief Brand chewing tobacco? I like that little song.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Episode Guide

When I click that link at the top of the page, you say, I only see episode numbers. What the fuck happens in each of these episodes, you fat monster?

Woah, there's no need for name calling, I say. Here's a brief episode guide to the MitE saga so far:

1) Bit of a Disaster - Meet Snobberson and some of the crew for the first time as their first big show goes off almost without a hitch, sort of. This episode was actually made later because the original one is simply too short and embarrassing to have out there in the world.

2) RALF - Only slightly less short and embarrassing, this episode is the debut of the Sidekick Showcase, where Snobberson tries out different co-hosts to try and mix things up. First up, a furry alien with a penchant for eating cats and a wildly inappropriate manner. Fun fact: The crew doesn't show up in this episode, because I hadn't invented them yet.

3) Labor Problems - The crew goes on strike, a trans-dimensional wizard seeking a magical tome shoots up the theater with magic, and we meet the mice. The first episode with a story (not counting the redone first episode).

4) Hamateur Night - as the theater is repaired following the magical disaster last time, Snobberson and company decamp to a local cafe and host a number of truly terrible amateurs.

5) The Storybook Plug - There's a cork in the floor and the mice pull it. What comes out? A bewildering array of fictional characters who torment Snobberson as he tries to put on a show with the "help" of the Ghost of Marlon Brando.

6) Brine is Really Just Salt Water - Pirates descend on the show, hijack it, and sail for the horizon! We meet Quimquaff, Squentes, and Tampico the Suspicious Parrot.

7) This Episode Brought to You By - The show needs money, and lots of it! Snobberson sells out to some corporate types and only rotating sidekick Moda (a short, green, wizened wise man) can possibly convince him to cast out the nefarious businesscritters.

8) Take This Show on the Road - Some French fleas infect the mice, and then the show in general, prompting a fumigation. Snobberson gets a wild hair up his rump for the Pacific Northwest, and so the show is converted into a covered wagon and taken on the Trail to Oregon, if you catch my meaning. Also, apparently the sidekick showcase is abandoned.

9) O Holy MitE - Just in time for the holidays, a phantom shitter is loose at the show. Who can it be? With the help of the Black Priest and Igor, famous ghosts are prevailed upon for assistance.

10) Non-Conform With Us -  Jerry acquires a cursed mixtape that slowly but surely turns the crew into hipster zombies, shuffling around in stylish clothes and listening to only the right music. Snobberson receives aid from Voices that Share.

11) High School Musical in the Evening - A stricken Snobberson has a flashback to performing arts high school, where the big competition is coming up and everyone has a song prepared - except a certain pompous butterball who intends to be the M.C.

12) You Know What They Say About Big Feet - Bigfoot mania sweeps the crew, as everyone hunts the mythic beast in hopes of a big payday. But what manner of simian is truly lurking in the shadows?

13) 1d20 (Book I of the Silverdusk Feyblade Marshmallow Sassafras Saga Cycle) - Travel back with us to the days of high fantasy! Snobberson is blown through a Gygaxian Singularity into a sweet kingdom full of elves and dwarves and shit, facing down a mysterious Dark Lord with the help of a psychotic barbarian and a sissy wizard. If you like Dungeons & Dragons, this is full of knowing references. If you don't, it's just confusing.

14) 2d8 (Book II of the Silverdusk Feyblade Marshmallow Sassafras Saga Cycle) - The thrilling conclusion to the previous thing.

15) Rodentcrantz and Gudenstrong are Dead - But what were the mice up to during the adventure of the Silverdusk Feyblade Marshmallow Sassafrass Saga Cycle? They were transformed into goblins and pressed into the Dark Lord's service, looking for a golden MacGuffin.

16) Dirty Politics - Remember the end of the previous administration? What exciting days! In the run-up to the election, Music in the Evening invites the candidates to debate live on stage. But the Spirit of Politics gets into everyone, including Mack, who runs for President of the Show.

17) A Haunting for the Holidays - Featuring the triumphant return of the Ghost of Marlon Brando, who, with the Ghost of Jimmy Stewart in tow, comes to Earth at Christmas to haunt Snobberson and face down his arch-rival, the Ghost of Laurence Olivier.

18) BANNED! - The secret lost episode, in which Snobberson's rich sister comes by to clean up the filthy mouths of the crew with a censor beep-producing robot.

19) Don't Call it a Comeback (Special) - After years of lying around in the gutter, Snobberson is visited by the mysterious Squentes, who prompts him to get the gang back together and restart the show.

20) Late Night Radio - Snobberson hears the siren song of conspiracy theory and becomes aware of all sorts of new shit. And sort of goes crazy.

21) Poon Forr - A strange illness befalls Jerry, who transforms from a semi-sweet teenager to a ravening sex fiend, offending Sadie. He receives some horrible advice from a certain ghost, and it's up to a stranger to explain what's going down.

22) In the Terrible Clutches of the Mole-Men! - Snobberson and company discover Confederate moles living in the basement, and a dispute ensues over who-all exactly owns that lil' ol' theater.

23) Destructive Criticism - An esteemed critic visits Music in the Evening, and his opinion is that it sux. Can Snobberson manage to put on the show while shriveling under a peal of vituperation?

24) The Auteur Theory - Snobberson's nephew Trevor comes by to make a documentary film about Music in the Evening. Snobberson has some helpful ideas. Lots and lots of them. Whether Trevor likes it or not.

25) Itza Mitzvah - Sadie begins to feel she's not Jewish enough and enters the Chattanooga Jew Chew gum-chewing competition to reconnect with her faith.

26) The Aristorats - The Mice inherit $15 million - but only if they're wily enough to keep it. The entire crew turns on each other to win the prize.

27) Cat vs. Mouse - Snobberson, tired of those damn mice, purchases a cat to rip them limb from limb. Can the mice figure a way out of their predicament? Who's throwing such wild parties when no one's looking?

28) A Crisis of Faith - Jesus Christ himself returns to Earth, right on stage at Music in the Evening! Mack has a change of heart. Rufus runs toward Paradise. The audience has pressing questions. And Jesus just wants to hella chillax.

29) Doubles, Bubbles, Moyels, and Trouble - Snobberson is doubled in a transporter accident, a homicidal moyel runs loose at the show, a bubble party is had, and trouble abounds!

30) Snobbersons and Tiaras - Snobberson wakes up in an unfamiliar basement, the captive of a deranged fan who forces him to compete in a child beauty pageant. Will he escape? Will he win Ultimate Grand Supreme?

31) Hamateur Night II - The theater is being painted, so it's off to Crazy Golov's cafe for an open-mic amateur night! What could go wrong?

That's it so far, but I have more brewing. It all comes down to when I get flashes of inspiration (which may also be bipolar episodes of mania).

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Uh oh

We'll, I'm looking at my scripts and the ones that are closest to being done are mice-heavy ones. I love the mice as much as the next fellow, but I don't want to overload you, the dear listener, with their chirpy voices.

I wish I had a writing team to force to do my bidding. You know, scripts or ideas are always welcome. I can promise you attribution and exposure to an audience of at least, oh, four or five. Pretty tempting, no?

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Soundcloud blows.

Huh. Well, I've already hit the time limit for free users of Soundcloud. I will be railed in the rump if I pay for anything in this day and age. I'll have to do some snipping and clipping of songs that don't make the cut.

In other news, I have three songs and a script. Alls I need is time to record dialog and edit it all up, and you sons of beeswaxes will have yet another new MitE.

Jesus, has it really been seven years I've been doing this nonsense? Get a life, huh?

Soundcloud Singles

Hello MitEketeers,

I'm going to be putting Music in the Evening singles up on my Soundcloud. If you actually like one of my nonsensical bits of nonsense, you can now keep it and stick it in your phone or iPud or whatever. I have to go through manually and enable downloads on the old stuff, so give me a while. Please note that for this next episode at least, this means you can cheat and listen to the songs early. Don't abuse such power!

Monday, May 19, 2014

Recurring Minor Characters


FIONA HARDWICKE: Snobberson's sister, Fiona has done extremely well for herself, marrying into a fabulously wealthy family. She is a busybody, and has tried to impose moral rectitude onto the filthy show (see episode 18, "BANNED!") Fiona has a son, Trevor, whom I'll tell you about right now.

TREVOR HARDWICKE: Having grown up in immense privilege, Trevor's worldview is decidedly skewed. Which can make you feel superior until you remember that the top one percent of America's wealthy control more money than the bottom HALF. Yeah. It's not really that funny anymore. Your kids will never go to college, any medical crisis will leave you bankrupt, and the entire economy is giving up on the middle class. Still like Trevor? Personally, I think he should be killed and his wealth redistributed.

THE GHOSTS OF MARLON BRANDO AND JIMMY STEWART: These residents of Actors' Heaven not infrequently make excursions back to Earth to visit the show. The Ghost of Marlon Brando is id unfettered, a force of nature forever seeking food and women. He's probably my favorite character to write and voice. The Ghost of Jimmy Stewart is Brando's semi-willing companion, foil, and only remaining friend. The Ghost of Marlon Brando first showed up in episode 5, "The Storybook Plug."

SQUENTES: Latin lover and signing sensation Squentes is mysterious, alluring, and exotic. He appears when he is needed and disappears shortly after (shortly after orgasm, that is). Squentes first showed up in episode 6, and made a return appearance in the comeback special, episode 19.

STREETFELD, THE OBSERVATIONAL COMEDY RAPPER: Streetfeld's reach exceeds his grasp. He aspires to be a mega-popular rapper/comedian, but can neither rap well nor write original jokes. Streetfeld's offensive blacky accent is second only to my early use of the word "retarded" in embarrassment and shame. Sorry, folks. But I still intend to have him return in a future episode.

A Refresher on Music in the Evening

Because it's been a few years since Music in the Evening tore up the charts, and because there's an outside chance I have new people in the audience, I think a little primer on my main characters is in order so you can skip to later episodes which are better than the weird, slapdash, excessively offensive early ones:

WILLIAM Q. SNOBBERSON: Exasperated, put-upon, and irascible, Snobberson is the MC of fantastically popular (pathetically struggling) musical variety show Music in the Evening. Dig into the early episodes and you can hear his voice develop from a weird drawl into the fairly stable form it's in now. Something to know? Despite his wandering affected accent, Snobberson is actually a Russian immigrant, as you can hear in the revamped first episode. Nothing has come of this ... yet.

SADIE GOLDMAN: "The only competent one among us" -- William Q. Snobberson. Sadie is a young woman in her late twenties who majored in theater in college and has been paying for it ever since. The stage manager of Music in the Evening, Sadie is the glue that holds the show together and a real mensch.

JERRY: Perpetually a teenager, Jerry is the production assistant at Music in the Evening, which puts him at the bottom of the show's hierarchy. Jerry's adventures include coming of age and experiencing the mating frenzy, the Poon Forr, and being taught to gamble by the others and losing his shirt.

MACK: Coarse and brutish, chief grip Mack manhandles the sets and does other things, I suppose, around the show. Mack made his appearance, as did basically all the characters, in episode 3, Labor Problems, as the ringleader of the job action against Snobberson. Although of course he's been retro-added into the revamped first episode.

JACK: Jack, a quiet and powerful lummox with greatly reduced brain function, does the heavy lifting at the show, mostly without comment. (Another way to say this is that I can't think of any lines for him). Jack also displays a surprising intelligence at times, with a vast knowledge of etymology and philosophy.

QUIMQUAFF: Introduced in episode 6, Quimquaff is a Native American who has been expelled from his tribe for too literally "merging" with the Spirit of Buffalo. If you know what I mean. Episode 6 is the one where pirates hijack the show, so Quimquaff is a play on similar noble savage Queequeg from Moby Dick, except of course that "quim" is an archaic word for vagina, which amuses me greatly; I don't know about you. Nowadays, Quimquaff serves as the Secretary of Indian Affairs at the show, which means essentially he sits around.

THE MICE: Nigel, Ludlow, and Rufus are the charming vermin who infest the theater and perturb Snobberson constantly. Nigel has a penchant for pretend Cockney slang, Ludlow has a Beatle haircut, and Rufus ... well, Rufus is dumb. I wonder how these mice learned to speak? Maybe a future episode will shed some light on the situation, hint hint.

That about wraps it up for the main cast. Next up, brief sketches of the recurring guest characters.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

And we're back. Again. Again.

You may have noticed that Music in the Evening is back in a big way, namely the five (as of this writing) new episodes you may check out at my folder here.

This is great news! Don't ask why Jerry is still 17. But the whole gang is back: Snobberson, Sadie, Mack, Jack, Jerry, Quimquaff, the Mice, Trevor, Fiona, the Ghost of Marlon Brando, Squentes ... it feels great to be back in the saddle again.

In this run of new episodes, I'm trying to raise the bar on both the stories and the music. You may have noticed the new theme, and the general better-ness of the songs. I program the drums rather than playing them live, for example. This means tempos don't wander all over the goddamn map. I've been working on my production techniques too, EQ and compression and saturation plugins and what have you. And the scripts are developed from ideas I've had in place since back in 2008 or 2011. I fleshed them out and spat them upon the earth, spreading my seed like Onan.

Sometimes I like to pretend that lots of people listen to the show, that I'm a small-time legitimate comedy show writer/creator. But that would be delusional. But you know what? I don't care. They make me laugh every time, and when I'm old and senile I hope they're playing on a loop in my modest cell at the retirement home.