Thursday, December 18, 2008

Squentes: All of joo ladies may meet me backstage

Squentes has only appeared in episode 6 so far, but believe me, he is always sashaying about in the forefront of my mind.

Way back in junior high, I attended a big Mexican party of some sort and heard a song whose lyrics made their way into my brain as "Squente squen, squent squente squente, squente squen, squent squente squente," etc. I'm going to guess that those weren't the actual words, but oh how they've stuck! And that is his origin story. "Squentes" is my go-to word for anything in Spanish I don't know (which is nearly everything).

Squentes is, in my mind, forever in a Zorro outfit. He must mask his face because of the irresistible power it holds over ladies, and although he makes much time in the day for the act of love, even he needs a little down time. I intend to have a big band number for Squentes next time like Desi Arnaz or Harry Belanfonte's "Jump in the Line," which we all loved in Beetlejuice. Right now I'm thinking about an episode where Snobberson loses confidence in his manliness and is encouraged by various testosteroney characters, including a mad Scot and the aforementioned Squentes. He's seducing his way back onto the show sometime, I assure you.

Sure, he's one-note, but that's why you use him as seasoning. You wouldn't want to eat him all day. Well ...


Sydney MacLean said...

I like Squentes. I like that he is a pansexual Don Juan who blurs the line between romance and perversion.

Franklin said...

Ha ha! I forgot to mention that aspect of Squentes. He's SUCH a lover that he simply must perform his bedroom magic on everything. "Birds, dudes, whatever!" I think a lot of Squentes comes from Jonny Depp in Don Juan DeMarco, just amped up beyond all recognition.